A wise man who "spoke soflty and carried a big stick..." once said to a group of veterans,"A man who is good enough to shed his blood for his country is good enough to be given a square deal after wards. More than that no man is entitled, and less than that no man shall have." This Man's name...Franklin Roosevelt.
I for one will agree, while I did my time I was given a square deal. I had complete Medical (albeit shitty) Dental (butchers of the mouth) Life insurance and a retirement plan (I wasn't physically able to stomach that shit they were feeding me, so I didn't get the plan). I was promised 36months of schooling that I had to pay alittle bit every month, It was the Montgomery G.I. Bill.
Let's skip forward, past my 26months in Iraq, past my Stop Loss, Past my first 10%Disability check to now. I'm sitting in an apartment that I've spent all my money paying rent on. I'm enrolled in a good junior college, somehow the VA is paying for the school part, but I have no Basic Allowed Housing check to keep the lights on, the water running or the roof over my head for that matter.
Who do I have to beg? Who's hand do I have to shake? How poor do I have to be in order to get help with this shit? I've done my service to my country, I wasn't drafted or forced to sign my name to anything. I joined the Army, I was the one who volunteered so defend the borders and ideals of this proud and great nation.
Help me Mr. President, I want my handout, the only difference is mine isn't a hand out. It's an entitlement. I find It ironic that in order to qualify for poverty this year the income is set at $21,000, I made $12,500 my first year in the army, about $20,000 my third and finally broke the poverty bracket my fourth year in the Army at a whopping $23,000. I NEVER qualified for welfare, food stamps or government housing.
I love the Government. It's said that the squeaky wheel gets the oil, but I've only gotten the shaft. Isn't funny how that works?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I need a Job
Anyone out there looking for a disabled veteran that isn't really supposed to do anything for another 2 weeks, but is willing to do anything for a buck. I have $5dollars to my name. Rent is due in about 7days. I dropped my last $20 in gas tonight...didn't even fill me up. The parents are helping my little brother go to college, can't really ask them for help. VA's fucking me with a huge dildo by only giving my $123 a month in disability pay. GI bill hasn't come in. Can't sell blood or plasma for another month. World is closing in around me. My only light is Carrah. She tells me I can do it and makes me believe. I made an 89 on my first major history exam. Anyone know where i can get free money??
Monday, September 14, 2009
College and Gun Control stuff
(Disclaimer: If you don't like what you're reading, leave.)
College, new people everywhere to meet. New people to room with, new people to make uneasy.
Last week, I'd say Tuesdayish, maybe Wednesday I finally unloaded my car after a weekend of dove hunting with the brothers and my dad. To most people in Texas dove hunting is a ritual. Everyone waits for September in order to go bag some dove. After deer season's opening day, it's one of the biggest unofficial holidays here. Let me digress, I live with 3 other males in an apt. One of them from France, who wants to try hunting, one from Oregon who's here for his MBA after attending a seminary and the other from the Dallas area(I believe) here for engineering. From this point on they will be referred to as Frenchie, MBA and Dallas. I walked in the door wearing 2 x drop pouches, my rack (which is set up for hunting now) 2x bandoleers of shotgun ammo and carrying 2 x 1911's, a Mossberg 930, a Sig Saur 9mm, an 870 Wingmaster Express, a New England break open and a Bushmaster M-4 variant. They all stopped and stared, the first question was, "You take over a small Central American country?" The second was, " What exactly where you hunting all weekend?" I replied to both questions with, "Yes, and illegals." MBA knew I was kidding at which he smiled and went back to cooking his rice and meat. Texas and Frenchie weren't so sure I was kidding about the while thing. Frenchie wanted to know how to shoot every gun and when I'd take him to shoot. (I've never met a Frenchman that wanted to know so much about guns, one would think that they don't have guns over there.)
Dallas is a sarcastic, Warcraft playing, chubby little computer nerd. He didn't think it was funny that I joked about hunting illegals. At this point I left the room.
This being said let's go back, back to before recorded history.....men wore furs of the animals they killed, they ate the meat, made tools out of the bones of the animals they killed. (And maybe gathered some berries along the way) This is how man survived.
Have we forgotten our history? Have we forgotten that we had to at one time scratch a living out of the land? Despite what all the liberal, anti-gun pussys think my side-arm and my rifle are going to be the last thing anyone takes from me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for gun control. I'm just not for gun restriction of the hard working, law abiding, tax paying everyday American. One thing these "Americans" have to remember is that the only people they are hurting by limiting gun ownership is the ones that follow the laws. If a crook wants to get a gun, he will. Why is it, do you think that the Cops are out gunned? Because they have to follow the laws. The weapons of choice for crooks tend to be unregistered, illicit or stolen, interesting to think about isn't it.
So I leave you with this: Don't do all your complaining on BLOGs, make sure you take a second to write your senators, congress men/women and representatives. We elected them, they make their decisions based on our opinions.
College, new people everywhere to meet. New people to room with, new people to make uneasy.
Last week, I'd say Tuesdayish, maybe Wednesday I finally unloaded my car after a weekend of dove hunting with the brothers and my dad. To most people in Texas dove hunting is a ritual. Everyone waits for September in order to go bag some dove. After deer season's opening day, it's one of the biggest unofficial holidays here. Let me digress, I live with 3 other males in an apt. One of them from France, who wants to try hunting, one from Oregon who's here for his MBA after attending a seminary and the other from the Dallas area(I believe) here for engineering. From this point on they will be referred to as Frenchie, MBA and Dallas. I walked in the door wearing 2 x drop pouches, my rack (which is set up for hunting now) 2x bandoleers of shotgun ammo and carrying 2 x 1911's, a Mossberg 930, a Sig Saur 9mm, an 870 Wingmaster Express, a New England break open and a Bushmaster M-4 variant. They all stopped and stared, the first question was, "You take over a small Central American country?" The second was, " What exactly where you hunting all weekend?" I replied to both questions with, "Yes, and illegals." MBA knew I was kidding at which he smiled and went back to cooking his rice and meat. Texas and Frenchie weren't so sure I was kidding about the while thing. Frenchie wanted to know how to shoot every gun and when I'd take him to shoot. (I've never met a Frenchman that wanted to know so much about guns, one would think that they don't have guns over there.)
Dallas is a sarcastic, Warcraft playing, chubby little computer nerd. He didn't think it was funny that I joked about hunting illegals. At this point I left the room.
This being said let's go back, back to before recorded history.....men wore furs of the animals they killed, they ate the meat, made tools out of the bones of the animals they killed. (And maybe gathered some berries along the way) This is how man survived.
Have we forgotten our history? Have we forgotten that we had to at one time scratch a living out of the land? Despite what all the liberal, anti-gun pussys think my side-arm and my rifle are going to be the last thing anyone takes from me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for gun control. I'm just not for gun restriction of the hard working, law abiding, tax paying everyday American. One thing these "Americans" have to remember is that the only people they are hurting by limiting gun ownership is the ones that follow the laws. If a crook wants to get a gun, he will. Why is it, do you think that the Cops are out gunned? Because they have to follow the laws. The weapons of choice for crooks tend to be unregistered, illicit or stolen, interesting to think about isn't it.
So I leave you with this: Don't do all your complaining on BLOGs, make sure you take a second to write your senators, congress men/women and representatives. We elected them, they make their decisions based on our opinions.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
A question...and an answer
Why is it that we us the color blue to represent sadness? The color blue is used on 58 national flags, the Russian word for light blue is used to describe homosexuals, and was a color of royalty back in the middle ages. The word blue derives it's meaning from about half a dozen languages. Interesting to think about when we describe someone as "true blue" or someone that's "feeling blue". My computer is blue, most of my shirts are blue, i wear blue jeans, my favorite color is blue. I use all these things as a preface...
I've been sorta blue all day. When I got to thinking about it I realized that I don't have it that bad. The water is a calming blue, the sky is a cheery blue, I look decent in blue; but why do I feel so down and out? Am I depressed? Stressed? Unfulfilled? Lost? The answer, I have no idea. I have no real idea about how I'm feeling. Yes, sometimes I just want to drive away to a new town, a new place, sever all ties with my past and start anew. I dream of it, but know I'll never be able to. We all carry our past around in our heads, emotional burdens, heartaches, pain, joy and a host of other bullshit.
By looking at me you'd never know that I had such baggage. I'm a decent looking [I think] guy, relatively smart, an average sense of humor and a charming smile. I've got a wonderful girlfriend, great parents and great friends. I drive a nice car, live in a nice apartment and wear nice clothes. You'd never guess that there's something wrong inside me. I don't know what's wrong but I feel there is something wrong.
I seriously think I'm fucked in the head. Maybe it was Iraq, maybe I was dropped as a child maybe I got some kind of disorder from touching something. I want to be the center of attention but in an unimportant way. I feel lost but people look to me for direction. I just don't want to worry about where I'm going, what I'm going to do, how I'm going to survive in this world.
What to do what to do.
I've been sorta blue all day. When I got to thinking about it I realized that I don't have it that bad. The water is a calming blue, the sky is a cheery blue, I look decent in blue; but why do I feel so down and out? Am I depressed? Stressed? Unfulfilled? Lost? The answer, I have no idea. I have no real idea about how I'm feeling. Yes, sometimes I just want to drive away to a new town, a new place, sever all ties with my past and start anew. I dream of it, but know I'll never be able to. We all carry our past around in our heads, emotional burdens, heartaches, pain, joy and a host of other bullshit.
By looking at me you'd never know that I had such baggage. I'm a decent looking [I think] guy, relatively smart, an average sense of humor and a charming smile. I've got a wonderful girlfriend, great parents and great friends. I drive a nice car, live in a nice apartment and wear nice clothes. You'd never guess that there's something wrong inside me. I don't know what's wrong but I feel there is something wrong.
I seriously think I'm fucked in the head. Maybe it was Iraq, maybe I was dropped as a child maybe I got some kind of disorder from touching something. I want to be the center of attention but in an unimportant way. I feel lost but people look to me for direction. I just don't want to worry about where I'm going, what I'm going to do, how I'm going to survive in this world.
What to do what to do.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
1st day of school
My first day of school started at 4pm. It lasted till 8:15pm, I can actually say that I didn't enjoy it. Every teacher spent her time telling us about the class expectations and the rules...here's a shocker everyone has the EXACT SAME STANDARD!!! Hmmm, weird. Go figure.
My History class is taught by a slightly overweight 20 something lady who has a sarcastic sense of humor, this is a good thing. She can talk around 8000words a minute, this is a bad thing. I'm looking foward to it actually. She wants us to be sucessful in her class, or so she says. My math class is taught by a high school teacher, she is out there. The lady talks to herself, won't look people in the eye and has no sense of humor, all bad things. Not going to be fun. She was asking questions and putting them on the board, I and my big mouth happened to be the only one to answer 99% of the time. She put up a bunch of formulas on how to find area and distance, I almost shit a brick...A high school teacher, a high school book and a bunch of algebra flunkies, I'm in high school algebra again. Damn did I get screwed. I am at least 5yrs older than everyone, almost 6 in some cases. Well, I remember high school, i remember how much shit you can get away with, she starts asking where else could we find formulas. (You must remember, I am the only one in the class who's said a word up until this point) I pop off with, "In the baby food isle?" Immediately the entire class erupts in laughter, she doesn't really get it. I tune her out the rest of her class.
My english teacher is remarkably not english. Almost one of the farthest things from it. She comes from the east, India, packistan or one of those countrys where no one really speaks very good english. I actually fell asleep within the first 20mins of her welcome-to-my-class speach. (None of my words are appearing to be spelled right to me right now) She turned on a movie called Freedom Writers, it's so far a good movie (I'd recomend it to anyone who wants to see a decent drama) which made me think of all the bloggers out there telling their point of view and not worring about being hunted down and beaten. Got to love America. I think I'm going to pop in a movie, grab a beer and call it a night.
"However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?" -Buddha
My History class is taught by a slightly overweight 20 something lady who has a sarcastic sense of humor, this is a good thing. She can talk around 8000words a minute, this is a bad thing. I'm looking foward to it actually. She wants us to be sucessful in her class, or so she says. My math class is taught by a high school teacher, she is out there. The lady talks to herself, won't look people in the eye and has no sense of humor, all bad things. Not going to be fun. She was asking questions and putting them on the board, I and my big mouth happened to be the only one to answer 99% of the time. She put up a bunch of formulas on how to find area and distance, I almost shit a brick...A high school teacher, a high school book and a bunch of algebra flunkies, I'm in high school algebra again. Damn did I get screwed. I am at least 5yrs older than everyone, almost 6 in some cases. Well, I remember high school, i remember how much shit you can get away with, she starts asking where else could we find formulas. (You must remember, I am the only one in the class who's said a word up until this point) I pop off with, "In the baby food isle?" Immediately the entire class erupts in laughter, she doesn't really get it. I tune her out the rest of her class.
My english teacher is remarkably not english. Almost one of the farthest things from it. She comes from the east, India, packistan or one of those countrys where no one really speaks very good english. I actually fell asleep within the first 20mins of her welcome-to-my-class speach. (None of my words are appearing to be spelled right to me right now) She turned on a movie called Freedom Writers, it's so far a good movie (I'd recomend it to anyone who wants to see a decent drama) which made me think of all the bloggers out there telling their point of view and not worring about being hunted down and beaten. Got to love America. I think I'm going to pop in a movie, grab a beer and call it a night.
"However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?" -Buddha
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